I’m spending my summer hot, dusty, sweaty, and covered in things I don’t even want to imagine. And cursing. Lots of cursing. You see, I’m trying to help my parents clear out some of the “stuff” they have accumulated after a 52-year marriage, a ranch, teaching, and a rural veterinary practice. Thus far, I’ve rehomed 45 years of equine veterinary magazines, and I still have more to go. There are old textbooks, slide collections, bones, hats, journals, equipment, stories, tools, mementos, pictures, cards, photo albums, clothes, decor, and still boxes to be opened. There are barns, trailers, and places I probably don’t even want to think about. It’s a cruel, cruel summer.

Now might be a good time to mention that my dad was a veterinarian for over 40 years. He practiced in rural Montana, serving three counties and as any states. That meant that he saw a bit of everything: horses, dogs, cats, cattle, swans, elk, bison, large game cats from Zoo Montana. He still does a bit of consulting work, serves as a veterinarian for endurance rides, plus takes care of the horses, cattle, and dogs that he and mum still have. And when he isn’t a veterinarian, he ranches, keeping a close eye on his hay fields and rain clouds.

You’re starting to understand the cursing now, aren’t you.

When I’m honest with myself, I’m angry and resentful over having to do this work. For the past decade, I’ve been asking my parents to go through their “collections,” but to no avail. They always chuckle and agree that it needs to be done, but something else always comes first. My parents are unhappy with this summer’s purging activities, especially my father. He feels that I’m throwing away his life, and I’m unhappy that thus far, they tell me that they won’t leave me this to clean up but haven’t really done anything about the problem. We’re both digging in our heels. And this leads me to the question I’m grappling with:

What is happening in my system?