How Do I Practice Global Listening, or the Convergence of Attention and Awareness
As we closed the Agile Coaching Circle for Europe time zones for September, this question was posted in the chat:
How do I practice global listening?
Great question, and one that we should have answered a long time ago. You see, in each of the coaching circles, we do a bit of teaching up front about some coaching basics, namely a coaching arc, powerful questions, and levels of listening. We then hold practice coaching sessions with a debrief of what happened. However, we’ve never written about practice tips or suggestions on how to work on a specific skill.
Let’s fix that, starting now.
As a quick refresher, here are the three levels of listening used in coaching conversations:
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Level 1: Internal—This is you, listening to your inner voice, waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can say your piece. As humans, we can be solipsists, so it is only natural that we spend most of our time in level-one listening.
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Level 2: Focused—This is you, listening intently to another person. You focus intently on what they are saying, so much so that everything else falls away. In level two, you might read the emotional field, but you do not necessarily make it visible to the client. If you have ever witnessed a conversation between two people falling in love, with eyes only for the person across from them, then you have likely seen level-two listening.
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Level 3: Global—This is you, listening to another person or other people in the context of their surroundings. You are listening to them, but also to what is happening between the two of you, to the sounds around you. During level three, you are aware of much more than what the client is saying. You are listening to the space. If level-two listening is about attention, level-three listening is about awareness.
In coaching conversations, it’s important to be in level 3, that global-listening level. When I listen during a coaching conversation, I listen with my entire body. I listen to what is going on around us, to what is coming up in me, to what isn’t being said. I listen to the silence. I listen to everything, for everything. The most amazing questions well up inside of me when I make space for them.
But this post is about practicing, about how to improve your level-three global listening skills. With that in mind, here are some practice ideas;
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Be intentional. Have intentional conversations with people where you listen more, speak less. Stay in curiosity, out of judgement. At an appropriate moment, reflect back to your conversation partner what you heard during the conversation.
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Read body language and the emotional field. While this skill could just as easily be part of level-two listening, continue to expand your awareness of your client and their space. Sense what is happening in the other person as they speak. Ask yourself what your client is feeling, and how can you as the coach make that visible to them in a way that enables insights and advances their agenda. You might say, “Hey, I’m sensing that you’re upset by that conversation you had with that colleague. Am I getting that right?” Or, it might be something like, “I notice that you keep touching your throat. What is happening there?” And if you don’t get it right, that’s okay. Keep trying. Ask your partner what you missed.
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Reflect. After you finish a conversation, take three minutes to sit with what happened. What did you feel as the other person was speaking? What did you notice happening around you? Did you notice any physical sensations in yourself? What did you become aware of?
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Ask for feedback. Let people know that you’re practicing a specific type of listening, and ask for feedback from them. Practice does not make perfect. However, practice with feedback (repeat, repeat, repeat ad nauseam) will help you to improve that skill. Pro tip: use triads to practice coaching skills. One person is the client, the second the coach, and the third an impartial observer who can focus on providing feedback.
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Master levels one and two. Yes, a great way to work towards level three is to get good at levels one and two. Slow down. Take the time to be truly comfortable in focused listening before pushing into level three. We coach teams, reminding them that they have to slow down before speeding up. The same is true for us as coaches.
Let us know what suggestions you have for practicing level-three listening skills—we’d love to hear them!
The amazing Syd Markle did the #bikablo drawings for this post. You can see her work on Agile Alliance’s Agile Coaching Ethics or on Instagram when she does 100-day drawing challenges.
Friendly reminder that all of the Agile Coaching Circles are free, virtual, and safe places to practice! We have circles for time zones in Africa, Europe, the Americas, and APAC east and west. All are welcome to join, and we’d love to see you there.