Doing Versus Being, or How Do We Step Into Accountability?

Take into account. You can count on me. The accounts don’t balance. That cannot be accounted for. Being held to account. He cannot be held accountable for that.

Are you noticing a theme here? I hope so. These are common, US-English phrases that we use regarding the word account. These are all things that we might say regarding accountability.

Is accountability really that big of a deal?

Slouching Towards Accountability

Integrity, values, trust, obligation, responsibility, reliability, judgement—all of these are wrapped around one another when I define accountability. Accountability, however, has a slightly different aspect to it as there is often a public component to it. We are held accountable in front of others.

As with most things, accountability boils down to two things: being versus doing. What do you want to do, and how do you want to be?

• Doing accountability is, quite simply, doing what you say that you will do. (This is where that public aspect comes in.) If you say that you will do something, you do so. When you do what you say that you will do, you inch ever closer to standing in integrity, in responsibility, in trust.

• Being accountable is a willingness to be counted on by others, to accept that responsibility. The primary action of accountability is to account for your word and your actions.

As a coach, regardless if I’m working with an individual, a team, or an organization, one of the first things we will talk about is accountability. When we’re designing our alliance, I might ask you “What is important to you about accountability?” or “How do you want to be with accountability?” Why is accountability so important to talk about from the very beginning of our relationship? Because accountability can be hard, and we need to be clear on what it means to you and your relationship to its practice.

It has taken me a long time to learn this: I cannot make you accountable to yourself, to an organization, to your word. That is something that you must do, or not do. What I can and must do is hold the container for accountability, provide a safe space for you or a team for trust and accountability to flourish, and ask the good questions that help you to get clear. Are you doing what you want to do, standing in how you want to be? Accountability is you taking public and private responsibility for your own life. You’re responsible for your results. I’ll hold the container for you, much like a mirror. You take more responsibility for your life.

Stepping Up to Empowerment

A coaching client recently received an above-and-beyond award. This note of gratitude was sent to her.

“Your dedication and perseverance is what helped us get through the crisis and has not gone unnoticed….We have incredible trust in your abilities and your tenacious follow-through. Thank you!”

We celebrated their win, but we also did a deeper dive into what accountability means for them. They said, “Accountability feels best when it is not a checklist, not something that is expected of me. Accountability came after. I had a call to action, and I responded.” Their way of being resulted in her way of doing being noticed and celebrated.

Let’s break this down.

• Doing: I need to call my dad, I owe two letters to friends, I haven’t chatted with my brother in a bit, and I haven’t contributed to pod discussions this week.

• Being: I am accountable for keeping my side of my interactions with friends and family consistent and strong so that the types of relationships I desire--deep, long term, and loving--are possible.

• Doing: I have to hold three one-on-one meetings with direct reports, I have to finish that cost analysis for the upcoming budget, and I have to complete my reviews. I cannot do all of this work.

• Being: I am accountable for balancing my calendar so that I can make room for work that is valuable and necessary. 

• Doing: I have to get the kids to karate class, the dog has to go to the vet, and no one has gone grocery shopping in a week.

• Being: I am accountable for creating the type of family life and home that I find to be satisfying and enjoyable.

Do you see the difference here? In focusing on “doing” accountability, you focus solely on the obligations. When we treat accountability as a way of doing—did we get our work done, did we achieve x by y time frame—we’re missing the point. Accountable is a way of being. If you don’t hold yourself accountable, the only person you hurt is yourself. When you shift to being accountable, you are empowered to create the relationships, space, and life that you want, all of which are infinitely more powerful.

As agilists, we often (and I include myself in this number) say, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Jim Collins, author of Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t, pointed out, good can also be the enemy of great, “Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.” Do we forego greatness simply because it is so easy to settle for good?

The Biggest Deal

Writing about accountability has been eye opening, but then, writing about anything generally is. Writing helps me to dredge up old thoughts, old feelings, helping me to think more deeply. Through that dredging, I find my voice and what is important to me. Sometimes, I surprise myself by what comes out. At the beginning of this post, I posed this question: Is accountability really that big of a deal? After a week of writing and rewriting and editing and chewing on this topic, my answer is this: accountability is the biggest deal. Accountability is trust made visible.

At the end of the day, accountability lets you step into your own power. When you are accountable to yourself, you hold yourself to your highest standard of what is possible and of what you can create. People no longer ask about accountability because it is no longer an issue of trust.

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Addendum: Powerful Questions for Accountability

What is a post from me without questions? (Answer: a post written by someone else!) Here are some questions that could be used when working with accountability.

When designing an alliance:

• What does accountability mean for you?

• How do you honor accountability?

• How do we stand for ourselves, for our teams?

• How are you living your values? How are we living our values as a team?

• What is the bigger vision here?

When asking about accountability that did not happen:

• What became more important than this?

• What did you learn about what is really important? (You did not do what you said that you would do, so what did you learn about what is important to you?)

• How are you not showing up for yourself? For your team?

When asking about accountability that was successful/worked as planned:

• Why did this work? What did you learn? What can you repeat and build on?

• What is the transformation into which you are stepping?

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The image used for this blog post was captured by Linda Nickell. Connect with her on Instagram as @coznlinda, or join in on Wednesday evenings for the Happiness Hour. Details, upcoming presentations, and past recordings can be found on her site.