Power Up, or Stepping Into Who You Want to Be

Want to watch Erin teach you to do an internal power pose? Click here to watch this on the Ad Meliora Coaching YouTube channel.

I have a thing for long-distance drives and roadtrips. For the past several years, I’ve driven from Austin, Texas up to my parents’ house in southern Montana and then onto an aunt and uncle’s home in Missoula, Montana. To do this kind of time behind the wheel, I listen to a lot of audiobooks and podcasts. One of my favorite “professional” books on just such a drive from a few years ago was Amy Cuddy’s book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. I loved the audiobook so much that I returned home, watched her famous TED talk a few more times, and bought the hardcover version of her book as well.

I loved the idea of her “power poses,” and I began doing them. The Starfish. Superman. Bodybuilder. Wonder Woman. Pride. And while I am generally considered to have little to no shame, it was a bit awkward when I got busted in the elevator or the ladies’ restroom and had to explain just what it was that I was doing. Once they heard the explanation, people got the idea and even got a laugh, but it was then that I started to wish for a way to power pose without having to explain myself. I needed a power pose for the inside.

This scene from “The Birdcage” sums it up.

Sidenote: I miss Robin Williams. Still. He brought so much joy, so much laughter. I think I need to watch this movie again for this scene alone.

But back to the power poses.

Around this time, I returned to taking Pilates classes in a studio. I had back surgery in late 2015, a brutal, invasive surgery that involved cutting through a rib and resulted in a rod being inserted along my spine between my shoulder blades. I was so very lucky in the sense that I walked off the surgery table and back into a life that included hiking and riding horses and taking uncomfortable forms of transportation to remote travel destinations, but I also had a new normal that included a certain amount of pain and awkward mobility. I was hoping that Pilates would help with core strength, mobility, and help me to find a way to live with this new normal. While in the studio one evening, a favorite instructor remarked “add space in your abdomen and lower back between your hips and ribs.” A jolt went through my body, and suddenly I connected the dots: I had the trigger for that internal power pose I’d been wanting.

Stepping into Your internal Power Pose

Okay, let’s get you into your own power pose.

To step into your internal power pose:

1. Using the pinkie, ring, and middle fingers of both hands, place those three fingers on your hip bones.

2. Place your thumb on your lowest rib.

3. Add three inches of space between your hip bones and lowest rib.

4. Elongate your spine, all the way from your tailbone to the crown of your head.

5. Take a deep breath.

6. Walk forward. Walk around. Notice what is different about your posture, your breathing, your outlook.

When asked to describe what is new, what is different, and what is possible from this stance, people generally say things like, “My breathing. I breathe more deeply now and I feel calmer, more at peace,” or “I’m standing up straight and my chest is lifted,” or “I’m looking ahead rather than the ground in front of me.” One person even told me, “It’s easier for me to move.” There is no wrong answer to my question, and all of these observations are right. You do breath more easily because you’re no longer collapsed onto your diaphragm. You do stand up straight and lift your chest because your core is activated and your spine elongated. You do look ahead, seeing what is to come rather than a few feet in front of your, well, feet.

And one final step: name your power pose. Make it resonant, make it meaningful, make it a call to action that speaks to you. This power pose might be inside, but it should help you to expand, to take up your own space fully, to feel like your best version of you. One client calls it “Sex and the City” because it made her feel like she did when she was young and walking to work in Los Angeles and people said “Good morning” to her. Another calls it “Standing Tall” and yet another calls it “Man of Steel.” And me? I call this my Boon Companion stance. When I hit my internal power pose, I stand tall, I’m confident, and I’m serving as my own best friend. I’m who I want to be.

Using Your Power Pose

Where do I use this internal power pose? Everywhere. Before I walk on stage to deliver a workshop or presentation, I power up. Before I pitch to a new client over the phone, I power up. Before I have a difficult conversation with someone I love, I power up. By stepping into my stance, by taking up my space, I reset and realign, and it makes it easy for people to see me as I want to appear. Confident. Resourceful. Brave. Fearless. By stepping into my power pose, I step into me.

These two sentences from Professor Cuddy’s book have stayed with me all these years:

Don’t fake it until you make it. Fake it until you become it.

When I first powered up, yes, I was faking it just a bit. I was acting and pretending and wanting to be what I didn’t quite feel. But after years of adding space between my hipbones and lowest rib, of getting out there and doing the things that scare me, this Glennon Doyle quote comes to mind. (It’s right there —>)

So yes, power up, because that gets me to brave, and brave is not only where I need to be, but also where I want to be.

Photo credit for this blogpost is Linda Nickell. Find her on Instagram as @coznlinda.