I Walk the Line, or How to Ask Provocative, Disruptive Questions
Have you ever looked at something so long that you stop seeing it? You know what I’m talking about—that pile of unread books on the shelf, the bags in your garage that need to go to donation, those items in your backlog that are good ideas but remain stuck in the good idea phase. We all have them in one form or another, and generally, whatever “it” is has been there so long that we stop seeing it. How do we get from “Everything is fine” to “housecleaning of the soul” to examining the unexamined?
Answer? Disruptive questions, questions so brazen that they are a shock to the system. They are that just-above-freezing, open-water winter swim. They are the thing that pulls you up short and suddenly, you can’t stop seeing what has been right there all along.
Role Nausea, or How to Not Get Sucked Under
Just as families do, organizations and teams have roles, too. Leader. Fixer. Communicator. Follower. Questioner. Avoider. Philosophizer. When someone joins the organization or team, the system shifts slightly. People may retain the roles they had occupied, adding or shedding new aspects of new or vacated roles, they might step into new roles altogether, or they might exit the team. Systems, be they familial or organizational, are not static.
Relationship systems rely on roles for their organization and execution of functions. Roles belong to the system, not to the individuals that inhabit the system.
To tie this back to coaching, I have pondered relationships, roles, and what to do when tired of and overwhelmed by a role. So, this month, this almost August, I’m writing to work through these questions:
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What are the roles in my system?
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How am I playing into these systemic roles?
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How do I step out of one role and into another?