Getting into Good Trouble, or the Importance of Knowing Your Own Values
Within the past week, John Lewis has come up not once but twice in big, important conversations for me. I took that as a sign from the universe that I needed to do some writing, some deeper thinking, to find out what was in my heart. This post about values, ethics, morals, and law is the result of that thinking.
There are times we need to get into “good trouble, necessary trouble,” as Mr. Lewis so eloquently stated, and he was right. When he saw a societal wrong, he was willing to endure beatings, abuse, arrests, all with the aim of living his values, of standing up for what he felt to be right. His values and the future he saw were worth any amount of good trouble.
When I was teaching, one of my favorite discussions was the three-hour class in which we discussed ethics. This came up again recently as part of some group work in a cohort, and then again in personal conversation where we debated the order of importance of these terms. (I’ve listed them alphabetically here in an effort to not tip my hand.)
Ethics—Generally speaking, ethics are a code, a set of guidelines or principles of rules of conduct that are explicitly adopted by a group of people. An example of this is medical or legal ethics.
Law—Laws are the system of rules that a country or community recognizes as regulating the actions of its members and which it may enforce by the imposition of penalties. Laws can be legally binding whereas ethics cannot.
Morals—Morals are a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do. As such, morals are often thought of as good or bad.
Values—Values are the rules by which we make decisions about right and wrong, should and should not. Values tend to be personal, individual
As a group, we debated the merits and how we saw these terms, ranking them in order of importance to us. What was fascinating to me was seeing how people ranked these terms. Some would never break a law under any circumstances, while others held their own values to be of greatest importance. Others felt that ethics or morality was most important, whereas values were almost an afterthought.
And me? My ranking is this: values, morals, ethics, and law. First and foremost, I live my own values, values that I determined suited me. Those values are based upon morals taught to me by my parents, my community, and my experience. I apply a code of ethics as a coach and a practitioner, and I live within the laws determined by this country. But those values—those are something that I have chosen for myself.
Erin Randall, Personal Values
In my opinion, there is no best way to rank these terms. There is a question, however, bouncing around my head, “Is it selfish to put my values ahead of the laws determined by society?” Perhaps, and perhaps this is a very American view, of me putting my individual needs before those of the society or community.
But why, why is it so easy for me to know where I stand? Simple: because I’ve done the hard work of figuring out what my values are. When working with a client, some of the earliest work that we do is on getting clear on what their values are. During these sessions (and honestly, any coaching session), I’m asking big questions, listening for those values. I want to know what resonates, where their values light up. I want to know what kind of life is important to them.
The point I’m making is this: if you are clear on your values, who you are and what you stand for as a person, it is so easy to know when you need to venture into good trouble. It’s an up-or-down vote. I know what is important to me and what is not. In those conversations that spurred this post, I watched both people make difficult decisions rather easily because they knew their values, knew how they wanted to live them.
As for me, I have a hard decision in my future, one for which I’ve already determined that I’m willing to get into good trouble. That’s okay. I’m ready. My values have helped me to set my course of action, to know what is right for me. Upholding my values is always worth good trouble to me. In closing, I am leaving you with this question: What is good trouble for you?